Separation and /or divorce are never easy to go through, whether you have decided to separate from your partner or if your parents are splitting up. You don’t need to be a young child living at home to find this upsetting.
If you are struggling to cope with your parents separating try and find someone to talk to about it, whether it be a friend or a counsellor, or maybe another member of the family. Don't worry or think that it shouldn't affect you because you are older, a family change like this is a big thing, and there will be a lot of new things to get used to.
Separation is when a couple decide to live apart. It doesn’t always lead to divorce and can help you think about your problems and take time to sort them out. Relationships Scotland are a national relationship counselling and family mediation service that can help you with this, and you don’t need to be separated to get counselling from them.
Divorce is where a marriage is legally ended, it takes around six to eight months and is carried out through solicitors and courts. It can take longer if you are unable to agree on where any children you have live or what to do about any property you own. The court or a mediation service will help with this though. If your children are old enough, their views on where they want to live will be listened to by the court. Relationships Scotland can also help with making decisions around what happens to children in a divorce.
If you are under 18 and want more information what happens when your parents divorce, call the Scottish Child Law Centre helpline on 0800 328 8970.
If you aren’t in a stepfamily you probably know someone who is as one in three people in Scotland are part of one. It’s totally normal for there to be some tension in a stepfamily, for everyone it’s a big change, even if you’ve always got on with the people who are now your step-parents or step-children. Different people adjust at different paces as well, with often the adults adjusting quicker than the children. Often people worry about what their place is in the new family.
Even if you’ve left home, becoming part of a stepfamily because a parent has remarried can be hard to adjust to and can feel quite strange. Whatever your place in a stepfamily, it’s up to everyone to make an effort to get on with each other and sometimes make compromises to help everyone.
Maybe you are about to become a step-parent or your partner is, don't worry if it takes time for you and the children to adjust. Like we said above, you may have to compromise a bit and make an effort to get on with each other but it probably won't happen overnight!
Of course being in a stepfamily is certainly not all doom and gloom, it can be great to have new brothers and sisters or to play a role in helping your partner bring up their child.
Relationships Scotland - They provide counselling for couples who are having problems and also help parents who are divorcing with arrangements, usually involving children. You can find more information about their work on the Relationships Scotland website.
Scottish Child Law Centre - They provide free information and advice about the law, including divorce, to young people under 18 on their helpline 0800 328 8970. For more information go to the Scottish Child Law Centre website.
Stepfamily Scotland - They provide advice and support through their helpline on 0845 122 8655 (Mon to Thurs 12 - 4pm). You can also download information sheets from the Stepfamily Scotland website.
Money Made Clear- Impartial advice on money matters when you are going through a divorce.
Published on 06/07/2010
Last modified on 26/09/2011
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